Tuesday, 22 May 2012

We wish you a merry ASBO and a happy new jeer …


The story of Christmas.
Once upon a time in a cabinet office not so far away, there lived a war mongering Prime Minister called Tony Blair…

Now Tony was very protective of his war mongering skills and would even claim that in other lands there lived some rulers who had weapons of mass destruction at their disposal so he could practice his skills, even though he had already made quite sure that those weapons were now disposed of anyway.  He still liked to pretend they were a real threat to his land because after all, weapons of mass destruction had the same initials as his inner cabinet; War Mongering Department…

However, one day, he noticed that the young and the not so young people of his land were getting into their own versions of war mongering…  They would drive cars too fast at night, frighten their neighbours cats and even swear at nice policemen; not to mention refusing to help dear old ladies across the road without carrying off their handbags for them in return…

“What shall we do with all these people who are anti social?”  Tony mused to his cabinet friends.

“I know,” said the home secretary, “Let’s make they’re behaviour against the law.”

“But it already is,” said the tea lady who was serving coffee instead.

“This means war.” Said Tony.  “We will tell all the judges to order them to behave or else!”

“Or else what?” they all murmured as well as “Here here.”

After awhile, it was agreed to issue an Anti social behaviour notice on such wrong doers in order to stop them in their tracks.

“We will call such measures, an ASBO,” Tony said making a note on the back of his hand.   It was best to call it that because to write Anti social behaviour order would have meant writing half way up his arm.

Again however, as time, crime and changing Prime Ministers went on, the ASBO was a thing to have.   You wouldn’t be considered worthy of even watching television without a licence if you had no ASBO to your name…

Well today, in recognition of the value of ASBO, they are now to be called CRIMBO; or Christmas to use the proper terminology.

ASBOs will now become Christmas orders announced the new Prime Ministers cabinet.as they sang "Jingle bells, prison cells all full up they say, so slap a Christmas stamp on them and send them on their way...

No comments:

Post a Comment